Sunday, March 22, 2009

10 Honest Things

Remember my Honest Scrap award from a few weeks ago? Well, I finally have time to sit down and write my 10 honest things. Here goes.....

1. I hate to watch other people brush their teeth. Even TinyDancer and even on TV. Blah!

2. I am going to be an Aunt again in September and I could NOT be more excited! I think my sister is hoping for a girl as my nephew is very busy. I don't care either way - I just hope they are healthy. And have kidneys that work!

3. I sleep with the last nightgown that SleepingAngel wore. Everynight. Her scent has long ago faded but I can't bring myself to wash it or put it up in her room. And on the nights that I forget to grab it, I don't sleep as well and don't realize why until I wake up the next day.

4. I hate working. I absolutely love my job, my boss is awesome and I couldn't ask for better coworkers, but I would much rather be home playing with TinyDancer. I never thought that I would want to be a SAHM, but the minute that TinyDancer was placed in my arms I knew that there was so much more to life than working. Not because I'm lazy and I just don't want to work, but because being home with TinyDancer, even on the frustrating days, is so much better than spending the day apart from her. These years are precious and I see them slowly slipping away. Every month I crunch the numbers to see if we can survive on just Stranger's salary. Not yet but hopefully soon!

5. I only read "brain candy" books. I can never get into biographies or books that make you think. Nope. It is just brain rotting romance and mysteries for me!

6. Sometimes when I'm at church, I can't focus on what is going on around me. All I remember is how it felt to hold SleepingAngel that last time right before her casket was closed forever. And Stranger pulling me away so that we didn't have to see it, murmuring that that wasn't SleepingAngel anymore. And all I can see is a tiny white casket at the front of the church.

7. On the good days, I know that SleepingAngel is watching over us and knows that we love and miss her. I understand that God intended for her time here to be short.

8. On the bad days - and we still have lots and lots of them - the only reason that I get out of bed and stay out of it is because TinyDancer needs me. If it wasn't for her I don't know what I'd do.

9. I miss running and I'm trying to figure out how to fit running and boot camp into my schedule.

10. Sometimes when I pick out books or movies for TinyDancer at the library, I get them because I want to read them or see them.


Anonymous said...

I admire you for your honesty!

Heather said...

Like the new look to the blog!

Sending hugs to you as well. Great post.

Nicole said...

Nice new layout! And glad to read some of your honest scrap...I wish we were closer in distance so we could hash this stuff out in person!